to ashes - bayleigh

[brandon jack moore]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding:0; margin: 0; background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/VFyGCdY.png);background-repeat:repeat-y;width: 450px;height:600px;] Long fingers drummed nervously on the table top. The lanky boy sighed to himself, silencing the annoying drumming to use his hands to rest his face in. To say that Brandon Moore was stressed is an understatement. The past few months had been nothing but hard on the man. Brandon was one that was used to things just going his way. He never really had gone through anything too terrible in his life, omitting the car wreck he was in a few years ago, but even then, that's something nearly everyone goes through at least once in their life. After being held captive and tortured by Vladimir, everything just went downhill for Brandon. Naturally, the man was in denial about what happened to him. He wouldn't even press charges against his kidnapper. He came back to find that no one was looking for him. Granted that Vlad forged a note, but the feeling of not being looked for still stung, and it began to weigh him down terribly. The denial slowly faded into a dark depression. Brandon had never felt depression before. Not clinical depression at least. Depression wasn't like the cool blue cigarette smoke and jazz depression he had heard about in the songs he listened to. It was dark and smothering and for the first time Brandon felt truly alone. He wouldn't talk to Bentley because he didn't want to worry his brother, nor did he want Bentley to treat him differently. He didn't even bother to tell anyone but Bentley and Jasey that he had in fact been kidnapped. His parents never called him about it, so he figured Bentley never told anyone, or maybe Bentley never got his message and therefore doesn't know what happened to Brandon. After breaking down in front of Jasey, Brandon told himself that he would be okay. It turns out, crying about it to someone and talking about it to someone are two different things. Brandon tried his best to get things back to normal. He even got engaged to Jasey. The depression was still there, beneath the surface, but Brandon began to feel like he could ignore it, or at least hide it until he was alone. But again, things changed and Brandon found himself in a position he was bound to be put in, due to his lack of the ability to be careful. He got Jasey pregnant. As if things weren't complicated enough already, now he has a baby on the way. The worst part was that the man has no one to blame but himself, and he knows that. He told his parents, and went to his mom for comfort. Instead of the babying he was expecting from his mother, she scolded and reprimanded him. Brandon had always been a mama's boy so, needless to say, his feelings were hurt. As time passed, Jasey's stomach got larger and Brandon sunk further into his depression, Brandon spent less time at home with Jasey and more time getting drunk and crashing at friends houses. When the man finally told Jasey how he felt about the pregnancy, how he didn't feel ready, he immediately took it all back due to the fact that he felt like the biggest douche bag ever. While Brandon is the exact type to run away when things get too complicated, Brandon is having a hard time doing that to Jasey. Once he sees her he immediately feels bad for thinking like an asshole. In a way, Brandon feels very trapped. Trapped in his situation, trapped in his depression, trapped in the rockstar image he created for himself. In an attempt to save himself from spontaneous combustion, he decided to reach out for help. Like Brandon, all of his siblings have grown up without much hardship in their lives. Well, all except one. Brandon texted his eldest sister, and asked her if she would come talk to him. The text went a little something like this: 'Bayleigh, I know you're probably busy, but I don't know who else to go to. I can't explain it all through text, but I think I'm going to break under all this pressure. If you could meet me at my apartment or something, and just, I don't know. Help me? My doors unlocked.' Brandon would have called her, but he already had a giant lump in his throat that no amount of alcohol could dissolve. The man sat at his kitchen table, face in his hands and shoulders hunched in on himself, a shell of the wild happy go lucky five year old at heart he was a few months ago. 700 | bayleigh | muse: young volcanoes - fall out boy this template was made by ZOE of caution 2.0 !